I'm so ready

I am so so so ready to have this baby. And there is a part of me that feels guilty for being so anxious. Shouldn't I be enjoying my two babies, and enjoying the miracle of a child growing and living inside me. A child inside me that I can feel move and grow- it really is an amazing gift from God.

But there is this selfish part of me that wants this baby out for a few reasons:
1) I just don't feel well! I've never felt this bad- this early in my pregnancies! But if it isn't contractions, it's just an upset stomach, or all over soreness!
2) My skin looks terrible! I always break-out like a 16 year old girl when I am pregnant, and well I am not exactly "glowing." I just feel blah every I look in the mirror.
3) I so want to go running. I so want to throw on my skinny jeans and feel good about how I look in the mirror. I so want to be able to bend over, sit down, or a walk a few steps without groaning or being out of breath.
4) I want to meet my boy!!!!
5) I want to feel pretty again!!!!!!


Now, I know that was a laundry list of complaints and whines and for that I truly apologize. Everytime I think of a complaint, I think back to what Pastor Jeremy said on Sunday and at the women's event, Ignite, "You are not a victim! You have VICTORY in Christ!!!" So basically, stop looking at everything you feel you don't have and everything you think you need/deserve and be grateful that you have victory in the savior, Jesus Christ. Because by Christ, I have been given this (these children) and the ability to carry them in my stomach; by Christ I have been given new life; by Christ I am victorious in all things because he has rescued me from -  my fears, pains, insecurities, and the desires of my flesh.

Heavenly Father, please forgive me for my complaints. Forgive me for feeling that I am due more than what I have at the present moment. God, give me the strength, patience, and peace in knowing that you will provide me my needs and desires as you see fit. And please open my eyes to see the miracles that are happening before me, both in my body and my family. I am so thankful to have a loving father like you and I pray that I can raise these children you have blessed us with to honor you. Thank you for giving me victory. I love you and praise you. In your oh so Holy name I pray, Amen.