It's kind of funny how God chooses to speak to us sometimes. Sometimes it feels like He is just sending me a little wink telling me where to turn my eyes and my heart. I've had a few today. On my way to work this morning I had a conversation with my mom and she said something that I took as a criticism of me as a mom, sister, daughter- whatever. When I got off the phone with her, I began going through different events of how I have to come to feel this way and I felt like I was living the "idle time is the devil's workshop." Yeah, he was working on me trying to get me to be upset with my mom and make it into waaaaaaay more than what it was. Then, trying to escape the thoughts, I turned up the radio on 90.9 and they were starting a sermon on criticism and how to deal with it and how, really it will never end as long as we are on this road. It kind of just made me smile back at the wink God had given me. It was as though he was saying- "it's okay, I can (WILL) help you overcome this- I got your back."
But still, me being me, I just had a wierd feeling today. I felt like I wasnt growing the way I need to be. Sometimes I just feel like I let days pass me by and I dont make the effort towards growing in Christ like I should be. And when I feel like I have failed- I tend to get really down on myself and I just get sad at my failure - which is a sin within itself. These doubts don't come from above. So, as I sat at my desk eating my lunch I read this Devotional and it gave me hope and yet another wink. It's obvious I need to be turning to scripture way more than I have been.
Then, as I was reading that blog, I was listening to some music because for me music definitely helps me to refocus. And I turned it to Sanctus Real- seemed like that kind of day. And the first song I heard was, "Forgiven" and the lyrics were definitely another wink.
Well the past is playing with my head
And failure knocks me down again
I'm reminded of the wrong
That I have said and done
And that devil just wont let me forget
In this life
I know what I've been
But here in your arms
I know what I am
I'm forgiven
I'm forgiven
And I don't have to carry
The weight of who I've been
Cause I'm forgiven
My mistakes are running through my mind
And I'll relive my days, in the middle of the night
When I wrestle with my pain, struggle with my pride
Sometimes I feel alone, and I cry
When I don't think and I don't feel like I belong anywhere
When I don't measure up to much in this life
Oh, I'm a treasure in the arms of Christ.
Cause I'm forgiven
I know I am forgiven even for these sins of doubt and fear. Though I don’t deserve it, I am grateful and I should still be able to take this day as a way I have grown. I know I need to turn to scripture more and "the secrets of the kingdom" will be revealed. Though I will never measure up to Christ- I am a treasure in his arms. Glad I can feel those winks.
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i love the line "im a treasure in the arms of christ" of course he winks...we're his treasure! ;)
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